magnetic

Mama, 

It is your birthday, and I hope you have felt celebrated today.  You are worthy of being celebrated.  And I could never do justice to tell the world the truth about your huge heart.  In my family, you are constantly fought over.  "I'm sitting by/sleeping with/holding hands with/sharing a cup with/being read to by/sitting on etc. MIMI” because you pour into all Of us attention that is tender, and sweet. When Mimi comes over, its everyone trying to see who can get to her first. 

You wore yourself silly raising all of us, and all of our people we brought home.  Because we always knew, everyone was welcome at your house, so we brought them all.  And you took care of every last one of us.  No one ever left hungry or thirsty.  Thousands of people have come to you through all the years for everything. And you have always, ALWAYS, given them everything you could.  It is true.  You are full of love and beauty. 

The dog.  All the way in her lap, so that no one else can have room near her.  She needs all the pat pats ok?

There have been many times in my life, probably up until about the point that I had my own children, that I had no clue about what you had done for me, what you'd given me, what you'd given up for me. It wasn't that it went unnoticed. I just couldn't understand it until I responsible for keeping two newborns alive for a whole day. By myself.  And after a few months of the same on repeat, I thought to myself, "I should seriously be so much kinder to the ones who spent their days keeping me alive” It was then, and through the years I've spent parenting, that I realized everything you chose, everything you sacrificed, and the amount of love you have for me. Thank you.  Not everyone makes the same choices you did.  Thank you for choosing to always love me.

Notice her hand on the girls back.  You are drawn to them.  And their knowing that, it shapes their little hearts.  

Thank you for making me spaghetti for supper every night before a cross country meet when I was a teenager, (and for making it ahead of time , so that I could still have it, the only-single-one-of-a-thousand meets you could not make because you were going out of town).  Thank you for the time when I had just given birth to two babies  at once, and Luke and I thought we were going to be completely fine taking them home by ourselves, and no, we didn't need anyone to stay with us overnight when we brought them home from the hospital.  (Yall, please don't ever turn away help if someone's offering it, especially when it comes to 1+ newborns) Remember how I called you at work the day before or maybe even day of discharge, and said something along the lines of "what are you up to? want to come stay with us? PLEASE??????" And you came.  You did not move in with us, and still won't, even though we keep asking. But you still came and stayed for at least a week. I cried in the shower the morning that I thought you were going to your house after work that day, until I saw all your things in the guest room still.  Then I cried more because it meant you were coming back to our house to stay another night, which meant it was likely we would all actually live for another 24 hours at least.  You fed us. You told us to drink water.  You told me all the things to do with those new babies that I had no idea what to do with.  I'd been around children my entire life and nearly raised a few others, but these were mine, and I just couldn't figure out what to do with them.  So you taught me.  And you got up 100x a night with and sometimes without me and/or Luke to tend to a crying baby. Then you came still every week and you would scrub our bathroom on your hands and knees, after working 10 hours at the hospital, and you would change our sheets, do our laundry, bathe babies, wash dishes, hold babies, rock babies, and then you would go home so late, get up the next day, go to work for 10 hours, and repeat.  I hope I am like you when I grow up.  

Teaching Mama how to take selfies.

Thank you for being the first person I called once we hit dry ground after our rescue from the flood.  I did not call you before the rescue.  There's a good reason I waited until we were safe.  There were hours between those moments and I knew what you would be thinking and doing if you had any clue what we were facing before we hit dry ground.  But you came as soon as you could get through the blocked roads to get to us.  And you came everywhere day after. Thank you for telling me what I was supposed to do next because I never ever knew what the next step was. Thank you for taking time off work, and helping us survive.  You would come early in the day and do all the things, then leave late at night after reading to the babies (who somehow had grown five years older by then). 

Thank you for coming with me when I had very scary tests to take (from Nursing boards to mammograms) so I wouldn't be alone. 

We have had so many fun adventures over the last several years.  I was talking to Luke one night about that point in time, when you transition from needing to "be the parent not the friend" to being able to be friends with your child, because by the time that point comes, you've parented them, and you can be their friend.  But you never stop mothering them.  I shared the comment with you that "You never stop being a mom.  I still need you just as much now as I ever did, and you’re still mothering me now as much as ever” and your reply was "No. And you don't ever want to either." 

Hey Mom! Let's take a selfie. 

  You are adored. I always admired the huge spread of your beautiful self in your yearbook of you, Miss Yellow Jacket. I admire that you were asked to be the pilot student for the new program at MCG.  You have accomplished so much in your life.  I want to celebrate all the things you've done, say thank you for always showing up for me and my babies, and assure you that none of the people, or the animals who think they are people, in my family, would be who they are today without your influence.  

You are the lightening bugs in the Brevard trees to me, Mama.

                        

I love you!